why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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