Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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