Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
