i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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