I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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