The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
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You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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