Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
