Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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