every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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