Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize