If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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