but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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