If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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