At least make sure they are 18
Why
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
