My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
