How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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