he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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