You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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