Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize