school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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