Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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