what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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