I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
