I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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