I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
