Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
