Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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