I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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