we're blogging at a bar
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
