I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
