he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
