Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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