Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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