i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
