Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
