Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
