facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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