she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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