I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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