i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My penis needs a shock collar
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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