It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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