I faked an abortion last night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize