he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize