Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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