I love black thongs
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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