Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
