Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
