mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
