Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
