Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
