writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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