It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
