wakey wakey hands off snakey
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
