Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sick fucks of a feather flock together
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
