i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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