rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i love accidental penises.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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