Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
