where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
