a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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