Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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