You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Less talking, more tequila
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
